Auburn Maine police have a very unique Valentine’s Day gift for an ex

Not sure what to get your special ex for Valentine’s Day? The Auburn Police Department has a great gift idea!

Sure, you can gift chocolate and flowers to your current lover, but what about that ex who wronged you? Auburn PD wants to know if you have an ex-Valentine with outstanding warrants. Do you have any information that they’re walking around with stolen weapons? Call and they will take care of everything else!

Sounds like a good deal for your illegal ex! All you have to do is call the Auburn Police Department and they’ll take care of everything!

Their specialty includes…

limited-edition platinum bracelets, complimentary chauffeured transportation, a minimum one-night stay in luxurious accommodations, and professional glamor shots that will be posted online for all to enjoy. This is topped off with a special Valentine’s Day dinner. We know this special is so amazing you might be tempted to provide additional referrals. We don’t blame you, it’s too cute to miss!

My favorite part of this Valentine’s Day offer is that they say, ‘Operators are listening!’ If it was on Netflix, I would binge on this show. I think it should be titled “Operators are on standby”.

Is there anyone who will accept the Auburn police on this offer? We all have exes, but do you have an ex with an outstanding term? I wonder if this will work for the police. I bet you won’t, but it made you think about your filthy ex for nothing!

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