Brides reject wedding guest gift basket, feud goes viral

A feud between two Hamilton, Ont. brides and their wedding guests for a humble gift have gone viral.

the Hamilton Spectator published a letter from one of its readers who recently attended the wedding of two women in Stoney Creek. As a gift, he and his girlfriend created a treat basket that included pasta, salsa, olive oil “and a few” fun “items like marshmallow fluff, Sour Patch Kids and gravy. caramel, ”the reader said.

But the brides felt the gift fell short and didn’t hesitate to let their guest know. They first asked their guest for a receipt, claiming that one of the women was gluten intolerant. Then on Father’s Day, the guest received a text from one of the brides, whom the guest identified as “Bride # 1” and “Laura”.

“Hey [guest] it is [bride no. 1]Laura’s wife. I want to thank you for coming to the wedding on Friday. I don’t know if this is the first wedding you’re going to, but for your next wedding …. People give out envelopes. I wasted $ 200 for you and your date plate … and I got whipped, bittersweet fluffy kids in return. Just a warning for the future 🙂 “

The guest said he was exasperated by the note and responded via Facebook to let them know how insulted he felt and suggesting they buy an etiquette guide. It sparked a back-and-forth exchange worthy of growing insults.

“Weddings are about making money for your future. Not about paying for people’s meals. Do more research. People haven’t given gifts for about 50 years!” the bride wrote.

“Obviously you have the tag of a twig,” the guest snapped back. “You want [sic] throw a party, you pay for it, don’t expect me to. “

Now the story has started an online debate about marriage etiquette. Some say the gift did not live up to what was expected. One commentator said “my first reaction was’ wow, that was such a cheap gift to bring to a wedding.” “Others say it’s the thought that counts, but almost everyone agrees that The brides’ reactions were inappropriate and rude.

Toronto etiquette expert Louise Fox said it was clear the brides were wrong in the matter.

“A person should always be a grateful receiver,” she said. “When you invite someone to your wedding, they’re a guest. If you want them to pay for your wedding, maybe you should charge for admission rather than calling them guest.”

She said the gift was entirely appropriate given the guests’ relationship with the couple – they were business acquaintances – but even if they weren’t, it’s up to the recipient to be kind and to accept the gift with gratitude.

But no one wants to be the guest who brings the shabby gift to the party. How can you be sure of the correct type of gift when it is considered rude to include such information on the invitation? Fox recommends talking to the couple’s parents.

“When in doubt, always ask.”

See readers’ comments on Storify

Previous Specialty grocer Chandler & Rudd returns as a gourmet gift basket business
Next Reframing a diagnosis of Down's syndrome, 1 gift basket at a time